I am a big fan of Jillian Turecki. She knows people and she knows relationships.

One of my favourite quotes recently is that “people can only meet you where they are”. They cannot see what they dont understand. Now, can you show them, sure. But they have to be open. Emotionally and to growth.

35% of women say they have dated a psychopath. But statistically only 1.5% of the male population are. 55% say they have dated a narcissist, but statistically only 6% of the male population are. This doesnt mean there isnt variables in the stats, it tells me that people categorise behavior they don’t understand.

People fear what they don’t understand. Real men don’t chase drama. Real men seek growth and meaning. If a man protects his peace he is grown. Dont see that as distant or cold. He learned himself. Lean in to these men.

Men in our formative years play a huge role. But the concept of looking inwards, is to assess what you observed / learned in a percolated way and decide which bits you accept and which bits you reject.

I would argue that many people dont really know themselves. Dont have a plan. Dont live life by design. They are on autopilot. But the autopilot is not programmed by them. It is someone else’s mission.

Next time you are at a friend or partners house. Ask them to look in there fridge. Pick a few items and ask them why they eat it, what it does for them and why they choose it. I bet they dont know. ‘Mum had Lurpark so I have Lurpak’. We are all conditioned but we all have a choice to re-condition.

Look at who you are. Look deeply. When you know what you want the outside world becomes easier, brighter and the colours pop!

Real talk

SB