By Scott Brown

I always find something wrong, were the words that lingered in Jim’s head.

He was happy living life alone, but like many WFH workers, he missed the conversation, relationship and intimacy of a partner.

Jim has never married, but was never short of attention. A typically handsome man, who was likeable and never short of admirers. His relationships with women had always resembled a semi active volcano. Heat and excitement, followed by calm, and what he saw as sedate or boring periods.

It was after a recent date that Jim began to ponder why. 

It wasnt that he was a perfectionist, it was more him wanting someone to match his energy, purpose and productivity. In all aspects of life.

The latest woman was the first to ever force such introspection. She was gorgeous, independent, capable, and someone Jim could learn from. In too many scenarios he was the dictionary, thesaurus, encyclopaedia and manual. What he craved was new perspectives, equal aptitude and to not always be the ship’s captain.

This time he would be less observant and just let the path shape itself.

Jim had watched with fascination and admiration in equal measures, at how his pals had managed to maintain long term partnerships. 

Sure they complained from time to time but the one constant was how they prioritised their partner, their feelings and needs.

Jim had done this too but he never felt like it was reciprocated. He has always, and still does hold the belief that a partnership should be equal. No one person can ever bring more than 50% on a regular basis for things to work.

Jim had been part of many teams in sport and work and he had seen the power of shared commitment and unselfish support.

One of Jim’s favourite non official words is Obliquity. It was the title of a book he read 10 years ago. The idea behind the meaning, is that the best goals are achieved indirectly. For example, when you buy someone a birthday gift, the primary objective is to make them happy, but indirectly you make yourself happy. By using this in a personal relationship Jim believed you keep the happiness moving and omnipresent. Small and often always beats big and infrequent.

Jim wasnt a deep thinker, but on this time of introspection he was taken back to a poem he had first read as a teenager. The book was ‘and still i rise’ by Maya Angelou. His favourite was ‘where we belong, a duet’ and he thought about the last few stanza’s of the poem.

I wined and dined a thousand exotic Janes and Joans,

In dusty dancehalls and debutante balls,

On lonely country lanes,

I fell in love forever,

Twice every year or so,

I wooed them sweetly and was theirs completely,

But they always let me go.

Saying bye now, no need to try now,

You dont have the proper charms,

Too sentimental and much to gentle,

I dont tremble in your arms.

Then you rose into my life,

Like a promised sunrise,

Brightening my days with light in your eyes,

Ive never been so strong,

Now im where i belong.

The final words were powerful. ‘Touch me, life, not softly’