I hear Tupac’s words loud and with crystal clarity. Being me sucks at the minute. 

The underlying track on this masterpiece by Tupac is a song called “walk on by” from one Isaac Hayes. Covered famously by Dion Warwick. The words to this track are also clear. But more a suggestion to an observer of my struggle. 

Let me tell you why it sucks to be me. First off, I am a recovering perfectionist. It’s not that I expect things to go well, it’s that I plan for them to, and when they don’t I struggle. 

Yesterday I took a roundtrip 6 hour drive to have my car serviced and I returned home with zero results. The highlight being two coffees. Blonde roast from Starbucks in case you are wondering. How did this happen? Well, Mercedes said they overran on other jobs and couldn’t do what I had asked them to. A premium brand but not a premium service. 

A sceptic could even connect dots on why a warning light appeared on my dashboard on the eve of my service taking place. Mercedes kindly offered to investigate it for £270. It was only when I declined there offer and wanted my car back to leave that they started to unfurl the red carpet. Why was that? Because they were sorry? Or because they got a whiff of a sale? 

The light has since gone off.

Upon ordering my second coffee to soothe my chimp, I thought I would have a treat. A marmite and cheese toastie. That will help. Takes me back to my school lunch, which I would sometimes save, and bring home to toast. Nope, sold out. Ok, how about a cinnamon swirl, something I discovered in 2007, and remember eating after a break up. Nope, also sold out. 

It was at this point I just had to get back to base. Get into bed, and let the day end. It worked. 

As Tupac says in closing “through every dark night, there’s a bright day after that. So no matter how hard it gets, stick your chest out, keep your head up and handle it”. I’ll try. Changes.