There is no soapbox, and this is by no means either emotive or preachy. It is however, passionate and I have to say what is on my mind.

As a male of the species, I have a ‘lived’ credibility on what I am going to share.

The term ‘toxic masculinity’ is uttered a lot online, and it was both the subject or a podcast and an article I read at the weekend. Let’s clear up one thing from the start. The term is paradoxical.

To be masculine by my definition and what I was raised seeing, is to Protect, Provide, and Procreate. The three P’s.

If someone is toxic then they are not masculine. Masculine men protect the weak and vulnerable. They do not belittle them and take pleasure in punching down. Masculine men protect and prioritise women. Offering seats, holding doors and walking roadside are all protective moves that make the women and men feel good. It’s who men are and who we want to be. Let us be this.

Without men willing to execute on The Three P’s we are lost and are in crisis. We need purpose. Young men need purpose.

Perhaps there is so much dissidence because there are so few roles models. I was fortunate to have many, and I stole pieces from them all in order to find my flow state and who and how I wanted to be.

We have young men who are lonely, without purpose and pass their time in a meaningless way. Statistics show suicide rates are up globally for this demographic.

Young men are seeking help from strangers online, when they should have a dad, a brother or a relative that can help them. Men have less EQ than women. We need discipline, leadership and guidance.

In years gone by men had working clubs and sports teams, where they sort comfort from other men in their own way. Where their masculinity felt acknowledged, validated and valued. Men providing, protecting and procreating. Proud and purposeful.

My generation felt like the first where men felt truelly comfortable talking about their feelings with other men.

Neither time was/ is perfect but it helped.

Men’s groups, such as the one my good friend Gareth Martin hosts, and of which I attended last year are making a noticeable difference.

It might be strange to say. But the Gen Z’s focus on drinking less alcohol is admirable, but alcohol is, whether we like it or not a social lubricant. I would much rather make a mistake when I am young, and learn from it, than not make a mistake at all. Most of my success talking with women in my 20’s was aided by social lubricant. It’s the overture to a better conversation.

If you are reading this far and you are asking yourself ‘what is the point of further commentary without action’. Well here is the action.

My ask is that you try to be a masculine role model to anyone who needs it. Demonstrate these values. Live them and talk about them. If young men know what is right they will see what is wrong and avoid it. We need strong masculine men. Now and forever.

Weeds sprout in untended places. Let’s not let them.